The bridge I crossed
The Eleventh
The next day, I woke up to a phone call from Tokyo Daigaku Shinbun, inviting me for an interview. I agreed, and when they asked if I could come at the earliest possible, there are a few stories of great importance that need immediate attention, I offered that I could come that very afternoon. The girl at the other end, a Tenten, sounded pleased, and said, yes, please do.
I felt a smile creeping onto my face--despite yesterday night's embarassment--and by the time I had taken a short shower, and dressed for the interview, I was humming under my breath. It was a twenty minute cab drive to Daigaku Shinbun, and after that, I was in an elevator, headed up to the fifteenth floor.
On time. Completely sober. And a good three feet away from the elevator doors.
I grinned. So far, so good.
When the elevator door opened, I was met with the soft patter of keyboards, the murmur of workers, and--here, I felt myself grinning--soft music. I was about to ask for directions when I heard a loud bellow. "Naruto!"
I turned around, already laughing at the voice, and felt Kiba's strong arms around me. I hugged him back and smiled when I smelt cigarette. "Kiba!"
Kiba looked at me squarely in the face. "You look better from last night."
I blushed, and then, recovering, said, "Well, I slept it all off, I guess."
"Good," he said, and then, "I would introduce you to the guys, but I guess you have to go see Tenten and then Jiraiya, huh?"
I ndded and saw him grin. "Don't worry. You'll ace it. It's your face. One look at it, and then Jiraiya won't be able to resist."
I caught the hidden joke, and felt myself reddening. "Shut up, Kiba."
"Fine, fine," he said, holding up his hands. He began leading me down the cubicles, smiling now and then at the people he passed. Along the wall on the other end of the large space, there were doors to offices for editors. We were heading towards one of those doors, I realized, and when were in front of one with a Senior Editor stamped on it, I felt my heart quickent. It was a make or break deal. If I got the job now, then I wouldn't have to worry about the bills piling up or--
"Relax," Kiba said into my ear. "Just go in there. He's probably expecting you."
Kiba pushed open the door for me, nodded at a girl behind a desk, and gave me a little push between my shoulder blades. "Naruto?"
"Yes," I said, and before I could ask anything else, she had stood up and was extending her hand towards me. She was dressed in a Chinese dress and had her hair up in two buns. She looked very pretty, and when she smiled, her entire face lit up.
"Tenten," she said, and I shook her hand, grateful for how kind the people in this building were. "I talked to you on the phone."
"Of course," I said and smiled at her.
"Kiba's told us so much about you," she went on, and motioned for me to sit at one of the chairs.
"I don't know if that's such a good thing or not," I said, flattered and feeling awkward for the sudden attention. This was not usual for a first-time interview.
"Oh, it's very good," Tenten said and then pressed a button on a phone on her desk. "Jiraiya? Uzumaki Naruto is here."
There was silence, and then, a gruff, old voice came in, "Send him in." She motioned for another door and I stood up, slightly surprised by the speed with which this entire deal was happening. "He might be a bit intimidating," she said, "But don't mind him."
I knocked once, heard a muffled "come in" and before I knew it I was inside, sitting down, and staring across at an old man with white hair and a pipe in his mouth. "Uzumaki Naruto."
"Yes," I said, and then, "Mr. Jiraiya."
He took a huff of his pipe and sat down behind his desk. He opened a folder, and flipped casually through it, reading off: "Kyoto University, graduated summa with political sciences and journalism double major. Lead writer for the university paper freshman year and editor-in-chief from sophomore year onwards. I got your portfolio, by the way. Internship at the Cabinet of Foreign Affairs, and then one with Representative Aomori. Correct?"
"Right."
"You stayed longer with the Representative. An entire semester, is that right?"
Jiraiya was bent over my resume, not making eye contact still. "Yes."
"And then, previous jobs you list copy editor for Tokyo Times, PR assistant to Suzaku and Co, media relations tech for Alliance Networks...Twenty-two years old, is that correct?"
"That's right."
He looked up, face neutral. "You feel qualified?"
"Yes." He hadn't asked any more, so I didn't bother answering.
"Good. The rumor mill has it that you were with Uchiha Corps recently."
"Yes." I had prepared, during my shower, a good excuse for my history with Sasuke, but I would give it only if he asked me.
"Only for two weeks, though," Jiraiya said, bent over the piece of paper. He took his pipe out of his mouth and held it between his fingers for a while. "Do you feel comfortable enough to explain the reasons for your dismi--withdrawal?"
I stared at the man before me. It would be easier, I decided, to just tell the truth. "It was not just a clean dismissal or a withdrawal," I explained. Jiraiya nodded.
"Yes, yes, I know. Kakashi told me--"
Somewhere, in the back of my head, a nerve snapped. "Who hasn't he told?"
Jiraiya looked amused. "We are, you realize, Naruto, a very close-knit circle. Uchiha Corps is literally and figuratively, only a block away from this office." He paused, and then tilted his head. "Well, I'd like to hear your side of the story."
"I was hired, fired--I was feeling unwell first day of work--rehired for some strange reason, and then refired a week later before my boss decided to take me to Jixi, China to meet his family. I resigned formally after that."
"And somewhere along the way," Jiraiya said, sitting back into his leather chair, he gestured vaguely, a frown on his face. "Puppy love was what I heard."
"Ye--Wait, what?" I felt a blush creeping up to my cheeks. "No."
"Well, according to rumors and Kakashi, the Uchiha fell for you." He pausd, tapped his pipe, and almost to himself, "After your first kiss."
"That's what Kakashi thinks," I snapped, unable to control my heart beat or the blush anymore. "He knows only a part of this entire thing. It was nothing more than childish behavior on both our parts." I took a puase and was about to plunge on when Jiraiya cut in.
"You must forgive me if I prefer Kakashi's opinion on this matter over yours. He is, if you don't mind me saying, much older and more experienced. You," he pointed at me using his pipe, almost a jabbing at me with it, "Are not."
I flushed but admitted, "Fine."
Jiraiya chuckled. "I hope, Naruto, you won't fall in love with any of your bosses in Daigaku Shinbun." Before I could say anything, Jiraiya beat me to it. "What do you think you'll bring to the paper?"
I smiled, on familiar turf now.
*
The decision will be in my mailbox within a short 48 hours, Tenten was explaining as she showed me out of the offices, It was an important job that had to be filled. If I got the job, I would start on Monday of next week. I thanked her for everything, and then I was out of the building and back in a cab, on my way home.
Jiraiya seemed impressed with most of my answers, especially when I answered his question about their policy on anonymous sources. (It would be better, I answered him, if we explained to the reader why we were granting anonymity. It would make the publication more transparent, the readers would trust the newspaper more, and besides, I added, it was only a matter of a few added words in the attribution of any quote. He raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything.) It was a solid interview, and even though Jiraiya had picked and heckled over my portfolio and my previous jobs, by the end, he had shook my hand firmly with a knowing smile.
Forty-eight hours to wait, though. Two entire days of fretting about what would happen because if this failed, I had no Plan B--this was Plan B--and if this didn't work, I wasn't sure what I was going to do.
Iruka was waiting for me, as promised. He was sitting on the steps leading up to my apartment, and when he saw me, he stood up to greet me with a hug. "So..."
"It went well," I mumbled, fretting with the key and pushing the door open. Iruka followed close behind. He immediately headed towards the kitchen, while I made my way to the bedroom to change into something more comfortable. In the kitchen, I heard Iruka bustling around, opening cabinets and becoming familiar with the place. By the time I came out and joined him in the kitchen, the smell of freshly brewed coffee was filtering through the thick, heavy air of the apartment.
"Jiraiya interviewed you?" Iruka asked, handing me a mug. I walked out of the kitchen and headed towards the patio, Iruka close behind. He folded himself onto the small lawn chair on the patio, while I sat down on the floor across from him, leaning against the rails of the patio.
"Yeah. He asked me a bunch of really picky questions." I kicked my feet out, and took a sip of the coffee, a little too dark for my taste. There was a breeze pushing past the streets, and it lifted my t-shirt a little. Summer would be ending soon enough, I thought. Maybe a little too soon.
"You've lost too much weight, Naruto," Iruka muttered leaning over to look at me closely. I shuffled under his gaze, preparing myself for the speech that was going to come--"What happened before you fell asleep?"
How much, exactly, could I tell him? This was Iruka, though, and even if I didn't tell him, he would find out somehow. He always did, somehow. "It's kind of a long story," I mumbled into my mug, hoping he'd let me off the hook.
Iruka glanced at his wrist watch. "Well, I don't have anywhere to be."
*
"So he knew about Zabuza?" Iruka asked, voice lowered. The din of the restaurant gave us good enough a cover, but it was an old habit, to slip into heated whispers when talking about Zabuza. We had decided, two hours into my narration, to go out for an early dinner at one of Iruka's favorite restaurants from his college days. The restaurant was set apart from the bustle of the city, tucked away in the folds of Tokyo University's campus.
"He used to work in Nagoya, of all the places," I mumbled. "As a police detective. The guy who trying to put Zabuza behind bars in Nagoya? Well, guess who it was." Iruka's eyes widened at the coincidence of it all. "Anyways, I must have freaked out or something. I just fell asleep after getting home, and then the next thing I knew, I was waking up in a hospital. I just wasn't expecting Kakashi to know, I guess."
"Well, then," Iruka said, leaning back. "I think I just might have to kill him."
I glanced towards the waitress, and when she caught my eye, I mouthed 'check'. She hurried away and returned a few minutes later. "You're paying, right, Professor?"
Iruka looked at me, disapproving, but pulled out his credit card anyways. "I'm taking pity on you because you're jobless, Naruto."
I grinned, and feeling a little awkward, offered, "I can pay you back for it, you know. Free room and all." I'd been slightly insulted when Iruka said he was checking into a hotel, mostly because every summer and winter vacation during college, I'd intruded on his privacy and lodged at his place in Kyoto. The fact that he didn't even give me the chance to offer lodging had stung, but then again--
"Now that you mention it," Iruka said, watching as the waitress approached us. He smiled at her when she took the credit card away.
"We can drop by your hotel and pick up your things on the way home," I said, interrupting in case he second-guessed himself. Iruka smiled at me, looking just a little tired around the edges. He said he was here for Mizuki, but what was it that was draining him so much?
"All right--" The waitress dropped off the receipt on the table. Iruka picked up the pen and signed before mindlessly tagging on a generous tip for the waitress.
"I can take the couch," I offered. "And besides, I totally owe you for the time I accidentally burned down your book shelf."
I froze when Iruka glanced up from pocketing his wallet. He had a murderous expression on his face. "When was this again, Naruto?"
*
Iruka was losing. Badly. "I'm...going to raise your fifty."
I grinned at him. He fell for each one of my bluffs--which was saying a lot about his game because if he was beating me, well...At least it was a good ego boost. "Hey, Iruka, you know you can quit, right?" Iruka eyed the pile of toothpicks in the middle of the desk. He promised at the beginning of the game that he would pay me for sure, but I could see that he was starting to reconsider. Over the past two days, Iruka and I had settled into a familiar pattern: Iruka left for work early, while I lounged around the house, and when Iruka came home, we made dinner and spent time together.
It felt like summer vacation in Kyoto again, but this time were living in a much, much smaller apartment and I was older, not in college anymore, and Iruka couldn't pester me about getting my summer coursework done.
"I'll start on the food," Iruka said, standing up quickly. He hurried away before I could say anything, and began to make a lot of noise in the kitchen. "Maybe you should check the--"
"Mail, I'm on it." I nearly sprinted down the stairs and by the time I reached my mail box, I was a little out of breath. Outside, the evening air was a cool, and I lingered for a moment before the row of mailboxes.
If Daigaku Shinbun was true to its promise, today was D-day. For the past two days, I had stalled in searching or applying for any other back-up jobs, encouraged by Kiba's assurances that Jiraiya was impressed, that there were already rumors going around the newsroom, that I was a sure bet for the job. Taking a breath, I fumbled with a key for a minute before wrenching the door open: an offer for a credit card, a coupon, the month's water bill, and there it was, a Daigaku Shinbun letter addressed to Mr. Uzumaki Naruto.
I walked back up the stairs slowly, slowly ripping the envelope open. By the time I reached my door, I was reading the letter. "Dear Mr. Uzumaki," it began, and then went on to say--
"I got the job," I breathed out, almost running into Iruka in the kitchen. I waved the letter in front of his face. "I can't believe it. I actually got the job. A junior editor's job."
Iruka chuckled, taking the letter from my hand and reading it himself. "I told you," he said, smiling still. "Now will you start listening to what I say?"
I grinned at him. "Not a chance, Iruka."
Iruka gestured at the poker game still set up on the coffee table. "Since you have a job now, can you please take pity on me and void my debt to you?"
I snatched the letter away from him and headed out the door, ready to show Kiba. "Like I said. Not a chance, Iruka," I yelled over my shoulder.
*
"Make sure you eat breakfast," Iruka said against my shoulder. Around us, the bustle of Saturday night travelers was getting a little frantic as flight departure times got closer. "Get a good night's rest before your first day of work. I want you to put on some weight, you hear?"
Behind me, Kiba was lugging Iruka's luggage out of the car trunk. Shikamaru was lounging against the car, looking bored. "Okay," I mumbled, burying myself into a sulk. He'd stayed for a grand total of three days. When I asked he stay till Sunday night, Iruka insisted on giving me some breathing time before my first day at the newsroom.
"And call me."
"Okay."
"If you need money, ask."
"Okay."
Iruka pulled away, and gave me a smile. "Sorry I couldn't stay longer."
I scowled at him. "And you're not even going to be here for Christmas," I muttered, not making eye contact. He had a conference, he told me apologetically the day before. He wasn't going to even be in the country for Christmas. It was our celebration, a tradition, and here he was leaving--
"I promise I'll make it up to you." He pulled me in for another brief hug before kissing me lightly on the forehead. I flushed, swatting at him to get away.
"Iruka, we're in public."
"Oh, please," Iruka scoffed, and took his luggage from Kiba. The hugged and Iruka snapped orders at Kiba as well--I overheard something about not drinking too much, calling his mother more frequently, and making sure not to get Akamaru tipsy--before Shikamaru walked over to say good bye.
"Professor," he said, shaking Iruka's hand.
Iruka smiled at him. "Take care of Naruto."
"I will. Promise."
"And if something happens to him, you will call me. Am I understood?" Iruka hissed, looking dangerous. He had spent nearly two hours yelling at both Kiba and Shikamaru for not calling him when I slipped into a coma, so Shikamaru nodded eagerly. "Good, then," Iruka said, satisfied. He let his hand fall heavily on my shoulder once before disappearing into the airport crowd.
Kiba, Shikamaru and I stood watching for a while.
"I told you," Kiba muttered as we were getting back into the car. "You were his favorite."
*
I walked into Jiraiya's office first thing the next morning, grinning when I saw Tenten's wide smile. "I knew you'd get it," she muttered in my ear before opening the door to Jiraiya's office. We both walked in together and found Jiraiya with his feet kicked up, smoke drifting lazily from his pipe, and a paper in his hands.
"Tokyo Daily," Jiraiya said without any preliminaries or even bothering to look up at us, "Is trying to angle its way into one of our scoops."
"Which one?" I asked automatically, and blushed when Jiraiya looked up at me, an eyebrow raised.
"Morning, kid."
"Morning."
Tenten slapped a stackful of papers on Jiraiya's desk. "These," she said, interrupting our conversation, "Were supposed to be done yesterday. Tsunade said she'll come down herself if they're not on her desk by noon."
"Fine, fine, that old witch." Tenten gave Jiraiya an encouraging smile before walking out of the office again to her own desk. "It's about the Japanese apology. About Manchuria and World War II."
"They're going to do it, then," I said, sitting down when Jiraiya held out the paper for me to take a look at. It was an e-mail print-out with the sender's name, sender's address, time stamp, and most of its text blacked out. "It's about time."
"One of our writers has a source at the prime minister's office. That's the source's email, excerpts of it, at least. Says someone from Daily's coming after them now."
I shrugged. "It's the source's decision about who they want to talk to. Or, probably..."
"Probably..." Jiraiya tapped out the ashes from his pipe and settled back in his chair.
"It's the minister's press room trying to get a sympathetic piece into our papers." I'd done it plenty of times before at my internship with Representative Aomori. It was a standard trick, one to push an agenda faster into headlines. "It's a bluff."
Jiraiya grinned, pleased. "Tenten will show you around the office, Naruto. You don't have to stay the entire day today. Check out for lunch. Tomorrow, you can sit around for layout."
"Thanks," I said, standing up. I was about to leave the room when Jiraiya raised his voice and added, "And please don't seduce any of my editors."
Tenten caught Jiraiya's comment just as I was closing the door. I blushed a little when I caught her knowing smile--did she know, too, I wanted to ask. Who didn't know at this point? She gestured towards the door that led back into the newsroom. "Would you like to see your space?"
My own space. This was great. My own space in the newsroom. "Well, come along then. There's a lot to see."
Tenten lead me towards one of the larger cubicles, all the while looking over her shoulder to make sure that I was keeping up. "Lee is out," she explained ushering me into my space. It was a large, airy rectangle with two distinct sides. One side was...green, the other was stripped bare except for a Mac (a wide Mac, I thought, a big, beautiful, seventeen-inch wide Mac), a printer, a telephone, and a box that had "in," "out," and a series of other classifications that I had to familiarize myself with. "Lee should be back soon, he's just making last minute arrangements with Tsunade about his trip to the Uchiha mansion and what not. He'll explain to you the rest of what you need to know."
"Thanks," I said, and watched her leave. Around me, there was the soft chattering of all the newsroom staff, the soft, muted ring of the telephone, the clacking of keys. I sighed. This was what I wanted. Had always wanted, through high school, through college. I was about to sit down when I heard Kiba coming up from behind me.
"How do you like it so far?"
I grinned at him, not knowing how to explain my happiness. Only a few days ago, I was jobless, not sure about my future, and here I was now: an editor at Daigaku Shinbun already. Kiba was about to say something else when someone called his name. "I have to get going. I'll see you tonight. We might celebrate--" He stopped when he saw me wince --"With ice-cream. Non-alcoholic ice-cream."
"Sounds like a plan."
"Good," Kiba said, and then, winking at me muttered, "Don't go get yourself in the way of any of the bachelors in this office. You never know, Naruto, one look at you and even the straightest of guys will find himself appreciating testosterone like never before." He walked away, ignoring my retorts and throwing a good-bye over his shoulder.
I smiled at him and walked towards the desk where the computer turned on with a prompt for setting up an email account. I sat down, cracked my knuckles and began. By the time I was done, I had a email account, a few emails already in the account (everything in this place, I realized, was fast, fast, fast, but then again, this was a daily newspaper), some from Jiraiya, and one from Tenten.
I opened Tenten's first, read the directions she had for me, managed to get myself access to the local server, and found out that I could access this information from my home computer. I forwarded Tenten's email to my own home-account and closed it before opening Jiraiya's. His were dealing with articles, most of which were not due till the day after tomorrow. The writer dealing with Japan's official apology to China about WWII would now be under my contorl, he added, Let him know what you think about the source's email.
I replied in the affirmative, printed out two of the articles that I was responsible for--since when did the Tokyo Museum of Fine Arts get an exhibition featuring Russian art anyways?--and began reading them. There were few mistakes, if any, since they had gone through a copy editor and a section editor already, but still, there were a few contextual problems that the section editor had pointed out in the margins that I was responsible for. I stared at a sentence, realized that I didn't like the tone, was about to change it, had my pen ready, when all of a sudden, a flurry of green obstructed my view and I was staring at a green--oh, so, so, so green--card with orange letterring saying, "Welcome."
I looked up, still not recovered from the surprise. A man, wearing a green jacket, which, to my surprise, didn't look that bad on him, in a bowl-cut and with wide eyebrows was staring down at me, a pleased grin on his face. "Lee," he said, holding his good hand out (one was in a cast and was slightly swollen). "Rock Lee."
I took the hand shook it lightly, noticing a few bruises on that hand as well. "Uzumak--"
"Uzumaki Naruto! I knew it! I knew it! The way Kiba was talking about you, I just knew you'd be the one." He gave me a thumbs-up sign and grinned. I smiled back, wondering if he was just trying to intimidate me on my first day or if he was just really, really, really nice.
"Thanks," I offerred and was rewarded with an even brighter smile.
"I see that you're already at work," he said, pointing sagely at my pen and paper. "I prefer correcting on the computer directly myself, but I understand why you're doing it on paper. I was like that at first too, but then I got used to the entire computer thing."
"Oh, right." I put down the pen carefully, hoping that I would make no movement to further excite this man.
"That's good, though," he went on, dragging his own chair so that he was sitting across the table. "One must not waste time when one is still experiencing the prime of their youth." He nodded sagely to himself, and I felt myself grinning.
"Exactly," I agreed, "The prime of our youth."
He caught my grin, and before we knew it, we were both laughing. "It's good to meet you," I said, extending my hand again. He took it, and held it a little longer this time, and nodded.
"The PM article..."
"I'm on it," I said immediately and jerked a thumb over at my computer. "I'll let the writer know."
Lee settled down on his side with a sigh. "Good, because I wasn't sure what to make of it. Did you talk to Jiraiya about it?" Lee printed out copies of drafts that the writer had emailed him while I explained to him about my thoughts on the source. We spent the next few hours going over major articles and then, around noon, Lee pointed out that my first day was over. "Go home and enjoy," he said, waving me away with his good hand. "We'll settle into a routine tomorrow."
I stood up, looked around the room one last time, and said good bye to him before walking out of the office. When I came out of the building, still feeling light-headed about the new job, I decided that I'd walk off my energy before hailing a cab and getting back home. It was a nice day, and besides, I thought, how long had it been since I just walked down the streets of Tokyo just for the heck of it? I chose the direction towards my apartment building and began walking, hands in pocket, and a smile still lingering on my face. Life was back on track, I decided. Uzumaki Naruto, editor. Maybe ten or so years, and then it would be: Uzumaki Naruto, editor-in-chief. I grinned. It sounded perfect.
There was the ordeal with Orochimaru, but how hard was it, I thought, to break-up with someone who I had barely spent any time with? And besides, were we even together? And Kakashi? That was a one-shot experience, we both had agreed.
I was still in the big-business section of Tokyo so all around me, buildings towered, assured of their place in the city. I glanced up and squinted my eyes to get a better look of the sun. There were clouds starting to cover it, and I saw a steady, blinking light begin to ascend at an angle. A plane, I thought, startled that only a week and some days ago, I had been on one on my way to China. But that was over now. Behind me. This, I knew, I would never forget. Love, Jiraiya had said. Love. I said it out loud, tasted it, decided that I didn't like how it sounded and sealed my lips tight against the word. It wasn't love, it was--
"Naruto?"
I turned around, blinking, seeing black spots in front of my eyes. A woman's voice, I was sure of it. How long had I been staring up at the sky anyways? There were only pedestrians, people minding their own business. I curled my fingers against my thighs inside my pockets. I was hearing things now. Maybe Tokyo sunlight was bad for the brai--"Naruto."
I knew that voice. Slowly, wondering if maybe if I was hearing things, I turned towards the street. There was a black car, a limo, parked at the sidewalk, and Sakura was looking at me, her smile bright, and behind her, Sasuke had just finished getting out of the car. I felt the muscles in my face tighten, and reluctantly, I walked towards the couple--yes, I thought, a couple. "Sakura, it's good to see you," I said, giving her as genuine a smile as I could muster. She was, really, a beautiful woman. "I'm sorry I left so unexpectedly. I had business to--"
"Oh, yes, Hinata told us," Sakura said brushing aside my apology and smiling again. "But how are you? Kakashi told us that you were in a coma."
I couldn't help chuckling. Kakashi, if anything else, loved to gossip. Probably to get the information he wanted from the people around him. "Yes, that. I'm fine now."
"You've lost weight," Sasuke cut in, his voice a little strained. I snapped my gaze to meet his, felt a blush come over my face--he was leaning in to kiss me, still, in my mind--and managed to answer, "A minor side-affect."
"You were walking when we first saw you," Sakura said, unaware, perhaps, of the way Sasuke stiffened. "It took a while before we could get the car to turn around, but here we are."
"That was kind of you," I said, "But I was just heading home. I decided to turn in early from work today." Which was true, I told myself. Still not lying.
"Work? Congratulations!" Sakura said, beaming. "Kakashi said that you resigned, which, I hope you didn't do because of our misunderstanding..."
"Oh, no, no," I said, smiling. "I just got a job offer at a place that I was really interested in, that's all."
"Where? If you don't mind me asking."
"Not at all. Tokyo Daigaku Shinbun," I said, carefully avoiding Sasuke's gaze. I nodded in the direction of the building.
"I didn't know you were into publishing! Are you a writer there?" Sakura responded. I felt myself warming to her unabashed affection.
"No," I explained, feeling Sasuke's gaze on me. I felt a fierce sense of pride when I said the next two words. "Editor, actually."
"Oh wow, impressive, Naruto." Sakura said. She glanced at Sasuke for a split-second before asking, "Why don't we give you a lift, Naruto. You still look a little tired."
I felt my breath hitch. Another few minutes--maybe even twenty, given Tokyo's traffic--of Sasuke's presence. "That would be nice, but I wouldn't want to impos--"
"It's nothing," Sakura said, brushing aside my objections with a wave of her hand. She tucked a strand of her hair behind her ears, and I caught the glitter of her earrings in the sunlight. "Please, it's the least we could do."
I looked towards the Daigaku Shinbun building and swallowed a sigh. "Thanks, then," I said, and caught another one of Sakura's smiles. She could smile, I realized, for all three of us. Sasuke held open the door for Sakura who got in, and then it was me and Sasuke. I waited for him to get in, but when he didn't, I brushed by him, my heart quickening at the proximity. I took a seat opposite Sakura and watched as Sasuke joined us, sitting next to Sakura, but still maintaining a distance.
"So how was work?" Sakura asked.
"Oh, fine," I said, ignoring Sasuke's silence. I turned so that I was facing Sakura fully. "I have a few writers to take care of once I get home, but that's all."
Sakura sat back, satisfied. "That's good. Kakashi told us that he spent some time with you after you came back."
"We had lunch once," I said, blushing at Kakashi's name. I felt my face get warm and wondered if it would be polite to crank down one of the windows. Spent some time with me, he told Sakura, and probably Sasuke too. "Or twice."
Sakura was silent for a while before giggling and saying, "Oh."
Was it that obvious? Why couldn't I have just brushed it away? "Well, then," Sakura continued, placing a soft emphasis on each word, "Did you enjoy each other's company?" A pause, and when I looked up, she had a smile on her face that made me blush even more. "I know Kakashi can be a little stand-off-ish at first, but he's actually pretty nice."
"I--" I snapped my mouth shut when I caught a glimpse of Sasuke's face. His lips were pressed into a thin line, and I could see the muscle at his jaw jump. "I won't be seeing much of him anymore," I said, wondering why I even bothered to explain myself to a man who was getting married in three weeks. "We lost contact."
Sakura laughed. "Oh, come on, Naruto, no need to be so shy around us. If you're with Kakashi, you're almost like family now. I mean, he's like Sasuke's brother." Which I knew. Which Sasuke knew. Which Kakashi knew. We all knew that, thank you very much, I wanted to tell Sakura, no need to remind us all about it. Sasuke carefully turned his face away from me and looked out the window. When we stopped at a traffic light, and I briefly considered opening the door and leaving with an excuse, any excuse.
"It's not like that," I said, willing Sasuke to look at me again. Whatever the case, I would not let our--our acquaintance end with his opinion of me as nothing more than a--the ring of Sasuke's cellphone put an end to anything else I had to say to him. He fished it out of his pocket snapped it open, murmurred a brief "Uchiha" into the reciever before saying, "Orochimaru."
I blushed an even deeper shade of red and felt Sasuke's heavy gaze land on me again.
"Mother would be delighted," he said, "Yes...of course...Neji will be there to supervise...Yes, her too...No..." He was silent for a long, long time, and then, "Oh. We ran into him as well."
I swallowed a groan at the injustice of it all, and looked away to see Sakura staring at me with open awe. "Orochimaru too? Oh, my, Naruto," she said, her voice lowered so that it wouldn't interrupt Sasuke's conversation.
"It's not like that!" I said, holding up my hands. This girl was bent on ruining what little self-esteem I had left in front of Sasuke.
Sakura chortled and winked at me. "I get it now, Naruto, men can't resist you. You are quite the charmer, I see."
"It's nothing like that," I repeated again, hearing Sasuke hm into his phone in the background. "We just ran across each other last night. I was just taking Iruka out for dinn--"
"Oh, now it's Iruka too, I see," Sakura threw back her head and laughed at my distress.
"It wasn't just Iruka," I said quickly, shivering at the idea. "There was Kiba and Shikamaru too, so it wasn't anything--"
"Oh, wow." She let the word drop like a heavy period in the conversation. "A triple date? You are popular."
I heard Sasuke say a "fine, then" and heard the sharp click of his cellphone. I turned to face Sasuke and saw that he was, again, angry. Angrier than I had ever seen him. There was a look in his eyes, and I realized with a pang, of betrayal.
The car rolled to a smooth stop at the front of my apartment building, just as I was about to clear up any misunderstandings. I clenched my hands into fists and made my way out, pausing as I passed Sasuke. This couldn't be the end. Not like this. He needed to know, had to know what I felt for him. Because no one--not Kakashi, not Orochimaru--would amount to even a fraction of what Sasuke meant.
"Sasuke," I said, slowly choosing my words to make it sound casual, "I remembered that I had something to give you." He glanced sharply at me, and I continued before he could dismiss me. "I have to return it to you. The book. The Things They Carried."
Sakura hm-ed at that. "I thought you were still reading it, Sasuke," she said.
"He lent it to me," I said. "I wanted to return it to him."
"Oh." Sakura seemed satisfied with the answer. "We could send up the driver--"
"I'd like it if you came up. You could go through my books and select one for yourself. As a wedding gift," I said quickly. "I'm not in a financial situation to offer anything else, and it would mean a lot to me."
I turned to Sakura and saw her smiling at me. "That is so kind of you, Naruto."
"Sasuke?" I glanced at him, saw him stiffen, and finally, nod. Before Sakura could make a move as well, he glanced at her. "We'll be right back, Sakura." She nodded, and I saw uncertainty flicker into her eyes before she covered it with another smile. As we got out, I felt guilty, more guilty than I had ever felt before. She had been kind to me, which was more than I could hope for in a situation like this, and this was how I would repay her for it.
Sasuke followed close behind when I walked up the stairs, silent. How was I going to tell him, exactly? What was I going to even say? But before I could make up my mind, we were at my door, and I was fumbling with my keys. I mumbled a "please come in" under my breath and closed the door behind me. He stood at the entrance of my house, silent, not making a move to take off his shoes and enter any further.
I took off my shoes, holding onto the wall for support and put them away before walking to stand in front of him. "I have an explanation," I said, looking at him. "Between me and Kakashi there was nothing, it was just, I was--" I paused, feeling my throat clamp up. "Sasuke, please, understand."
His lips curled into a sneer. "Of course I do."
He must hate me. Not for betraying him, but for doing it with his closest friend, his brother, almost. I stepped forward, saw him flinch, and cringed at his reaction. Against the tightness in my throat, I kept going, knowing that my voice was beyond redemption at this point. "I was just out of my coma, Sasuke, I was tired, he was there, and it just happened. We agreed never to see each other again, and I can't--I won't--" I stopped, realizing that I was on the verge of promising him, I won't do it again.
"Sasuke." I swallowed on the lump in my throat, feeling miserable. "Please don't hate me. I'm not like that, I'm just not. I swear."
He considered me for a while, his face relaxing a fraction and then, after a few seconds, "Fine, then. I'll be going now."
I was tugging on his sleeve before I knew what I was doing. "The book."
He paused, turned again and watched me, silent. I looked down at my socked feet before turning to retrieve the one book we had talked about, Death Comes for the Archbishop. When I came back with it, I took out the bookmark that Kiba had given me and handed it to him, pressing it into his hands.
He stared at the cover, still looking brand new. "My friend gave it to me," I said, feeling an unnecessary urge to explain myself. "I know you said you've read it already, but you mentioned that you liked it--"
"Your friend Kiba?" Sasuke asked, opening the book and flipping the pages.
"Right. Kiba." I smiled at him. "You remember."
He looked pained as he closed the book. "Yes."
We stared at each other for a moment, and then, just as he was about to leave, I stopped him again. "Sasuke?"
He tilted his head at me, a small frown tugging at his lips. "I dreamt," I said, slowly, "Right before I fell asleep for a week, that you were in a room. Your bedroom in Jixi." He was still now, very, very still. "You said goodbye to me, or at least, I think you did. You weren't talking. But. But before you left, you." I took a deep breath and stared at Sasuke square in the face. "You kissed me."
I locked my hands behind my back and watched as he parted his lips slightly, letting a brief flicker of emotion cross his black, black eyes. "Just once?" He asked after a moment.
"Yeah."
He stilled, even his chest stopped rising with each breath. Finally, just when I thought he was going to leave, he took a step towards me, close enough to cup my face in his hand, to breath the same air I was breathing. He tilted my face, and I couldn't help--just couldn't, not like this--letting out a small sigh.
He stroked a thumb over my cheek, almost as if he was afraid of what he was doing. He brushed at my skin, brushed at the corner of my nose, brushed at the line of my jaw, a disbeliving look on his face. "Just once, then," he said against my lips.
And he kissed me, deep, slow, like there was all the time in the world, and that outside, Sakura wasn't waiting for him. He kissed me, and it blistered my lips, where we made contact, and I wondered, if I could ever get enough of it, only to realize that this was it. This was all I could get.
I held onto Sasuke's wrist feeling his pulse beneath the fabric, a fast, fast beat. When he pulled away, he whispered, "Naruto," and it had never sounded like that before, never like it was the only thing that made sense in the world at this point. I swallowed a word that was crawling up my throat, Stay.
"Just once?" He asked again, and I nodded.
"Yes." I took his face in my hands, and tilted it so that I could look at him, look at him. I would remember, I told myself. This face, I would not forget.
There were the soft lines around his lips, the set of his chin, the soft black of his eyes, the white of his skin, the line of his jaw, the pink of his lips. There was that, and there was so much, much more. Letting go, I stepped back. "You should leave. Tell Sakura I said goodbye."
He straightened and stepped back as well. It was only a split-second, but then his face was back to its neutral blank. He nodded once, glanced at the book in his hand, and then the door was shutting behind him.
I sat down on the floor in front of my door knowing that if I went to sleep now, I would not wake up again for a while. So I sat up, and stayed awake, stayed awake and painted in my mind, again, and again, Sasuke's face so I could remember.
I sat and couldn't help wondering: there were the lines around his lips, the set of his chin, the black of his hair, the white of his skin, the line of his jaw, the pink of his lips. I couldn't help wondering: what had I missed?
End of The Eleventh