The bridge I crossed
The Seventh
When I woke up, it was still late in the night, chilly with the onset of the morning. I shifted slightly, and felt my yukata catch against my calf. It was nice fabric, I thought with a foggy mind. Somewhere to my right, there was heat, and I shifted towards it, until finally, my back hit something solid and warm. I settled in, pulling the covers closer around me, sighing softly when I felt soft, warm breaths against the back of my neck, and then, closing my eyes, I slept.
The second time I woke up, it was to an erratic booming. I shifted slightly, heard the beat pick up, and so, nuzzling into the solid mass and breathing in, I muttered, "Back to bed, Sasuke, too early." There was silence, and drowsily, I listened to the heart beat slow down and settle to a steady pace. I fell asleep again, this time to the feeling of a hand resting lightly on the small of my back and measured breaths reaching my forehead.
The third and last time I woke up, all all the blood rushed to my face. The Uchiha and I were a twisted around each other: he had his hand around my waist, our legs were tangled, and the bed sheet was twisted around our bodies. His breaths were warm against the back of my neck and I heard soft soft snores coming from him. It was early--4:13 according to the alarm clock on the bedside table--and the morning chill had invading the room. By all accounts, it was still too early to wake up, but this was just ridiculous.
"Um." I cleared my throat loudly. "UB." He didn't move, so I shifted a little until I was on my back. The Uchiha moved a little closer, tugging at me until I was pressed flush against him. His breathing was still just as deep and warm against my cheek. "Sasuke, wake up."
I shook his shoulder, and in response, his leg shifted up a little and oh--I tried to push him away, scrambling towards the edge of the bed, but no matter how hard I tried, the Uchiha was right there, tangled with me, around me, on top of me, taking up all the space in the world. The bed sheets were tying us together, so I gave it one giant tug, and then, I was falling. A split second later, the Uchiha followed, landing heavily on me and knocking all the breath out of my lungs.
"Aw, god damn," he pushed himself up a little and stared down at me, his hair a mess, his eyes still groggy with sleep. He wasn't wearing a shirt, and I saw series of scars running down the length of his chest and twisting around to his back. There was a tattoo on his shoulder, at the nape of his neck: three commas, almost, swirling around an invisible center. "What the hell was that, Naruto?"
I took in a deep breath, trying not to look any lower on his body than was necessary. I shifted one of my legs up, folding it, and he shifted right into the space between my legs. He didn't seem to notice how close we were. "Um. Morning." My leg was left hanging a little oddly with no place to rest, so blushing a little, I rested it on the back of his leg. He still didn't say anything.
Slowly, carefully, he did something of a push up, stopped mid-way by the bed sheets. He tried again but only worsened the situation. Growling, he lifted his head, caught the time and then lowered himself down onto me again. "Why," he muttered a little darkly, "Am I up this early?"
"I. Uh." How was I going to explain this to him? We were all over each other, and you got a little too friendly in your sleep so I decided to--"I'm an early riser."
He stared at me, eyes narrowed. "I like to sleep in on weekends."
"Oh."
He tried to get up, roughly yanking at the bed sheets to untangle himself. "Ow, stop--UB."
He got his hands around my waist and lifted me up a few inches to free the bed sheets from underneath me. My hands automatically came around his shoulders to hold on. "I'm going back to bed," he finished. Without warning, he lifted me, the bed sheets, and himself up off the ground as if I weighed nothing. He held me over the bed for a split second before dumping me on the mattress.
Stretching a little, he climed in after me, crawling over me to get to his side of the bed--we had sides? The two of us didn't quite fit on the full bed, so when he turned onto his stomach, he was pressed against me. "Don't you dare wake me up until noon," he mumbled into the pillow
I stared at him, and watched, surprised a little, as he slipped right back into a deep sleep.
A few minutes later, his hand came up around my waist again.
*
"It's nine," I hissed, slapping him hard on his bare shoulder. My fingers stung, his skin turned slightly pink and then slowly dissolved back into its usual color. "Get up, UB."
He shifted a little. I took him by the shoulder and shook as hard as I could, which wasn't much because he seemed glued to the mattress, weighing as much as a heavy log. His head was buried under the pillow and a foot was sticking out of the blanket folds. One hand was over the pillow, keeping it in place. "Come on, I'm getting bored. Wake up!" No movement still. I fell back onto the bed next to him. "Sasuke, come on, wake up." I pulled the pillow away from him and watched as he cracked open an eye. I gave him the warmest smile I could muster. "Morning, Sasuke."
"G'away." He pulled the pillow back over his face.
"Sasuke, come on." I pulled the pillow away and threw it on the floor. "I'm bored."
"Go do something, then," he mumbled and turned his face away from me.
"Take me somewhere. Around," I said, taking a fistful of his hair and yanking.
"Ow," he slapped at my hand. "What the hell--"
I yanked at his hair again. "I'm bored," I repeated. "And I'm your guest." He stared at me for a few minutes before shoving aside the bed sheets and getting up.
"What do you want?"
"You haven't told me where I am yet."
"Jixi, China," he mumbled. "You're in China."
My mouth went dry. "You bought me to China?"
He stared at me, eyes blank. "What about it?"
I shrugged. "It's just--I've never been, you know, out of Japan." He looked unimpressed with my explanation. "Can we go sight seeing?"
"There's nothing to--"
"I'll decide if there's anything to see or not. Let's go."
He heaved a sigh, and without another word, stormed into the bathroom. "I said noon," he yelled from the other side. "How is nine in the morning noon to you?"
"It's unhealthy to sleep so much, you know," I yelled back, showered and dressed already. There was silence for a while, and once I heard the toilet flushing, I raised my voice: "We should get breakfast down town."
There was silence, and a few seconds later, I heard him yell again: "NOON."
*
He was right. There wasn't anything to see, but I was still excited to be outside. More than once, I was mistaken for being European and with a few awkward hand gestured, I had to explain to everyone that I did not trade in Euros or dollars, but in yen.
"They take yuan here," he explained to me, paying for lunch. Not once did he let me reach for my wallet, and I didn't feel the need to object. He was an Uchiha, heir to the richest family in Japan. And besides, there was no need for me to be formal around him. We had gotten to know each other well enough that he reached over and stole my food without any warning these days.
I watched as he picked up all my shopping bags and followed me out into the bazaar dutifully, sticking out like a sore thumb in the crowd. He was taller than everyone there, by at least a few inches. "Bored yet?"
I shook my head. "What else is there to see?"
"Nothing," he muttered, sighing.
"What's around Jixi?"
"Sea." He nodded in the direction of one of the townsfolk who bowed slightly. Everyone seemed to know him around here, but then again--I looked over my shoulder in the direction of where the Uchiha mansion was.
"Let's go," I said. He looked disapproving, but I gave him a smile. "Please?"
*
The water was too cold to swim in, so I folded up my pants to my knees and waded in. The UB followed, pushing up his dark jeans a few inches above his ankle. "I told you," he said, "Nothing to--"
I bent over to pick up something that was glimmering by my feet. "Sea shells, huh." It was a conch shell, smaller than my palm, perfectly formed and still pink. I rinsed the sand off in the water and walked over to where the Uchiha was, a few feet away.
"There's something here," I said, showing it to him.
He stared at it for a long time, expression unreadable. "You are such a girl, Naruto."
*
We ate dinner at a small tavern on the riverside. The food was unremarkable, but the sake was good so neither of us complained. By the time we returned to the mansion--after a few hours of enjoying a bottle of sake on the beach while playing twenty questions--it was past midnight. He complained the entire ride back about the utter stupidity of keeping the shells I picked up. I took off my shoes at the entrance and put on indoor shoes. He did the same, muttering under his breath still. He was carrying several bags full of souvenirs I picked up. One bag was dedicated entirely to Iruka, one for Kiba, another for Shikamaru.
"Why do we have to keep these stupid things, anyway?" We were almost at his room by now, and he was already yawning.
"It's a memory, Sasuke. Get it? Our time at the beach? Something to remember it by."
He scoffed, pushing up the door with his feet. Without much thought, he dumped the bags by the table and walked towards his closet, taking off his shirt as he did so. I watched, feeling out of place all of a sudden. I'd made the mistake of spending the night with him before, I wouldn't--He undid the top button of his pant with one hand and rummaged through the closet with the other. My face heated up, and I cleared my throat a little too loudly.
He turned, shirtless and pants hanging a little loose on his hips. My eyes gravitated downwards, tracing the contours of his muscles, and I could see just a glimpse of his boxers. The bones of his hip were defined, two stubborn lines going down towards his groin and making a perfect V as they did so. I felt something in my stomach coil tightly with something, with the need to--touch him, I realized, blushing at my train of thought.
"I should probably go," I muttered, trying not to look at anything but his face. He narrowed his eyes at that, but nodded.
"Probably."
I turned to go, but then stopped at the door. "I--uh. Don't know where my room is," I said turning around and blushing again.
"I'll walk you," he offered, pulling on his shirt again. He buttoned his pant and walked towards me. I took a few steps back, moving aside to let him pass.
We were quiet the entire way to my room, and when I was at my door, he shoved his hands into his pocket. "I, uh, had fun," I offered, trying not to make it sound like a post-date confession.
He smirked a little. "What, no good night kiss, dead last?"
I rolled my eyes. "Don't push it, UB," I hissed, and took a step back towards the door. We stared at each other for a moment. "Really, though, Sasuke. I had fun."
"Yeah," he muttered, and turned away from me, blushing a little.
It was my turn to smirk now. "If you're waiting for that kiss...You're going to have to wait till the second date."
He scoffed and took a step away. "Good night, Naruto." I felt my heart sink at that, feeling ridiculous and disappointed at the same time. What was I hoping for him to say? Yes, where's my kiss? He was engaged, I reminded myself, and our time together was nothing but platonic.
"Night," I returned, slipping into my room. I held the door open, waiting for him to leave, but when he didn't, I slid it shut. On the other side, he waited for a few more seconds, his silhouette completely still. And then he turned and left.
I waited by the door, listening to his footsteps fade away and my heart beat slow down. As I settled down for the night, feeling alone and small in the bed after a night with Sasuke, I kept thinking, You should have kissed him.
*
I called Kiba early the next morning after taking a shower. It was either that or getting dressed and facing the UB at breakfast. I glanced at my room's door and then back at the phone in my hands. It was simple enough a decision. I punched in the numbers, wondering if the Uchiha would mind a long-distance call on his bill.
It rang once, and then twice before he picked up. "Kiba?"
"Naruto? Hold on a sec, will you?"
I heard a small click as if Kiba had picked up the phone again. "Conference just ended, so you were on speaker phone," he explained. I "uh-huh"ed into the phone, and then there was silence. "You all right, Naruto?"
I smiled into the phone before realizing that he couldn't see me. "Yeah. Fine. I'm on vacation."
"Really?" Kiba said through a mouthful of food.
"I'll explain later. Just how is everything?"
"Oh, it's fine," Kiba said. "Editor-in-Chief just barged in, made a pouty face and told me in a very polite way that we now had another page to fill with wonderful Tokyo humor. I mean, she didn't even think about how long it took me and the other guys to fill one page. Yet alone two! And how the hell are we supposed to choreograph layout this time? Did she even consi--"
"Did you tell her that?" I asked, pulling the blankets around me. It was much easier to talk about somebody else's problems, I realized, than talking about your own. "I mean, if it takes so much work, you should just tell her."
"Yeah, but more pages to fill means that we get a higher pay."
I chuckled. "So what's the problem?"
"Oh, I don't know, Naruto. I mean, the stupid Editor-in--" He paused, and then, "I almost forgot to tell you. This Editor-in-Chief I was talking about, she's friend of your boss' family."
"Sasuke?" I cringed when I said the name, and suddenly wished I hadn't. By all accounts, we went on a date yesterday. And he was getting engaged the next day. Without letting me think anymore, Kiba filled in, "Yeah, him. Anyways, she--"
"What's her name?" I asked, hoping to divert the topic.
"Who?"
"Your Editor."
"Oh, her. Her name is Tsunade." I heard him snicker. "Good Editor. She gets the work done, and has the entire department scrambling, but really, she's just...But that's beside the point. The point being," I could almost hear him collecting his thoughts again. "She's a friend of the Uchihas, and she's assigning somebody to write an article about their annual family gathering."
"The what?"
"The family gathering, you idiot. You know, since your boss is getting married. The Uchihas are famous for their family gatherings. Especially when there's a wedding. A spectacle, really. I was going to ask you to do it. You'd get paid and everything, and you already have access--" There was a slight beeping on the phone, and then I heard Kiba swear. "Look, I have another line, but I'll call you back later."
"No, don't," I said before he could hang up. "I'm not home right now."
There was silence, and the beeping continued. "You at work?"
"No."
There was another long, heavy silence, and the beeping died away. "Naruto." He stopped, and then, "Did you get kidnapped?"
"Kiba, why do you always have to assu--"
"Well, what else can I do when you just disappear like that? Where the hell are you?"
I opened my mouth to answer when I heard the beeping again. "Look, I'll call you again later, okay. Just relax. I'm just on a--vacation, of sorts. And tell Shikamaru not to worry. I'm alive, and breathing, and healthy."
I heard Kiba grumble. "Fine. Hang up."
I smiled into the receiver. "I love you, you know that, Kiba?"
"Yes, I know, I know, you gay freak. Just hang up already."
"Yes, sir," I said through a chuckle. I put down the phone, and felt the silence fill the room again. I let my eyes close against the stillness of everything. I had fun yesterday, but it was about time that I left. I was out of place, unwelcome here. And my feelings for the Uchiha were--
I heaved a sigh and buried myself deeper under the covers. There was nothing, I told myself, anyone could do about it. Right as I closed my eyes, I remembered how he looked, stretched out on the the beach, hair specked with dust, looking at me curiously as I asked him twenty questions.
*
He was there when I woke up, looking annoyed. "Mother wanted me to check on you. To see if you were feeling all right."
I sat up, feeling groggy. "What?"
"You missed breakfast. And lunch," he said, indicating a tray of food next to the bed. I reached for it and felt my bathrobe slip off my shoulder. "Don't look," I muttered, and when he turned his head away, I undid the bathrobe and retied it around my body. When I looked up, I saw the Uchiha staring at me, brows furrowed in concentration.
I picked up the bowl and began eating. Whatever it was--maybe tofu--it tasted good. He stood, awkward a little, watching me eat. I crossed my legs to make room for him at the foot of the bed. "Sit down. You're making me nervous standing around like a giraffe."
Strangely enough, he obeyed, not making eye contact. He was wearing a plain white, full-sleeved shirt and dark jeans. Finally, hesitantly, he asked, "You have a tattoo on your stomach." He tilted his head in my direction.
I looked down and saw that I hadn't tied the bathrobe well enough. Blushing a little, I tugged it close. "Told you not to look." There was a moment's silence and then he was leaning against the footboard. You shouldn't let him stay here, what are we doing--"Couldn't help myself," he said, voice low. I snapped my gaze up to meet his and saw that there was something heated and playful in his eyes.
"Stop flirting with me, Sasuke."
"Why did you get it?"
"You don't like it?"
"I'd have to see it again before I can tell you," he said, playful still.
I rolled my eyes, tugging at my bathrobe again just to be sure. "I wanted to piss a few people off," I answered, ignoring him and taking another bite. He looked confused at my logic. "I used to work at a bar and people used to compliment me all the time. You know? Say things. Physically. I mean, that I'm..." I paused, wondering how I could phrase this without sounding narcissistic. "That I'm--"
"Oh," he said, as if he understood. I smiled at him.
"What do you mean, oh?"
"Oh, as in, I understand."
"And what did you understand, huh?" I shifted a little, uncomfortable under his gaze.
"You're, you know..."
"Do I?"
He frowned at me, straightening as if preparing to leave. "Stop fishing for compliments, Naruto."
"I don't think you know how to compliment someone, Uchiha," I said, chuckling.
He considered me for a long time before countering, "I know how to compliment people."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
"Well? Let's hear it."
"I don't need to prove it to you."
"You think I'm beautiful, don't you?" I drawled, grinning now. I ran a hand through my hair, and crossed my legs dramatically. "I know, I just can't help myself sometimes. I was born this way. What can I say?"
"Shut up, Naruto." His voice was light, and from my angle, I could see that he had a lopsided smile on his face.
"You know, it's not a sign of weakness if you admit it or anything. Just repeat after me, Sasuke: You, Uzumaki Naruto, are mind-numbingly beautiful."
"Mind-numbingly stupid, that's what." He stood up to leave, and I grabbed him by the wrist.
"It's all right," I prodded, tugging at him so that he sat down again, this time closer to me. "I won't make fun of you."
"Shut up, dead last." He shifted a little, uncomfortable. "I have work to do."
"First of all, it's your vacation. So no work. Second of all, just say it and I'll let you go for the day. You're beautiful," I crooned, leaning forward into his personal space. He squirmed, feeling awkward now. He must be slightly homophobic, or maybe just uncomfortable with the idea of it. I grinned. Here was my trump card against the Uchiha.
"I mean it, Naruto. Shut up."
"All right. Handsome. You can say handsome." I jabbed him again. "I mean, it's not something to be ashamed about. I just have that kind of an effect on people. It's in my blood, Uchiha. I kid you not. I mean, I bet you can't even stand being around me right now, huh?" I grinned. "It must be my golden hair. Or, maybe my sparkly blue eyes, like emeralds, aren't they? Or maybe it's my smile. It's just."
I sighed dramatically and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. He raised an eyebrow, leaning away from my touch a little. "I'm perfect all over, Uchiha. If you're in love--there's nothing you can do about it."
The smirk on his face slowly disappeared, the muscles of his face stilling. I felt something shift in the air around us, as if I had changed the very chemistry of the moment. My own smile felt a little out of place. "What's wrong..."
He got up, not making eye contact. "I have work to do."
I sat up straighter, confused now. Had I said something? "Sasuke..."
"Finish lunch, Naruto."
"I didn't mean to--"
He didn't wait for me to finish my sentence and left the room just as abruptly as he came.
*
An hour after he left, I decided that it was time I punch some sense into the Uchiha. I began my search after getting dressed, but once I took a turn in the mansion, I was lost. I was trying to find my way back to my room when I spotted Neji with another woman in an open room, sitting around a mah-jongg table. "Ah, Naruto," Neji said, looking up. "This is my cousin. Hinata."
I smiled, feeling awkward suddenly. I had been attracted to women once--a long time ago when I was still too young to understand the concept of being gay--and Hinata was the kind of woman I was attracted to back then. She had charcoal black hair and pale blue eyes that looked almost milky white in the afternoon sun. "Nice to meet you," I said, bowing a little and trying not to stare. She returned the gesture.
"I've heard so much about you," she said, voice quiet.
"I don't know if that's a good thing, actually," I admitted and then gestured vaguely. "I was looking for Sasuke--"
"He'll be joining us soon, I think," Neji muttered, giving me a curious look. He waved at an empty spot at the table. "Want to join?"
I shrugged. "I don't know how to--"
"We'll teach you," Hinata offered quietly. "If you'd like."
I couldn't find an excuse to refuse their invitation, no matter how much I wanted to talk to the Uchiha alone, so I sat down.
Hinata and Neji, Hinata explained, were Sasuke's fifth cousin, once removed. Their families were so separated, they belonged to an entirely different family: the Hyuga Clan. Over the years, the Uchiha family dwindled down to only two members: Sasuke and Wazuka. Deciding that it would be better to live together, Hinata's mother--Wazuka's close, close cousin--moved the two families to Jixi, China when Sasuke, Hinata and Neji were still very young. Their families lived within the same mansion but were separated on different ends.
The Uchiha joined us twenty minutes later, dripping wet and a half-eaten apple in his hand.
"Did you go swimming?" Hinata asked, raising her voice to be heard over the clacking of tiles as we shuffled the pieces. The Uchiha bit into the apple, not saying anything.
"The water's too cold, though, isn't it?" Neji mumbled, leaning forward to stack the tiles into neat columns. I watched them, unsure of what I should do. Hinata and Neji had barely gotten around to explaining the rules before the Uchiha had joined us.
"It's not too bad." I tried to meet his eyes, to let him know that I wanted to talk to him, but he didn't even look in my way, ignored me as if I didn't exist. I felt my anger bubbling. I hadn't done anything wrong. And even if I did, I deserved an explanation. He was acting like a two year old with these stupid mood swings of his.
Hinata finished stacking the tiles and motioned for me to start. "I--um. What am I supposed to do?"
Hinata leaned over and gave me two pieces. "We split it like this--"
"It's too complicated for him, Hinata. Let him be," the Uchiha drawled, cutting her off.
Hinata withdrew suddenly, looking at the Uchiha, her eyes wide. "Sasuke..."
I sighed heavily. "Spare me, UB."
He raised an eyebrow and pushed the tiles in my direction. "Fine, give it your best shot, dead last." I stared down at the tiles and then back at his face which had the purest expression of anger I'd ever seen.
"What, exactly," I bit out, gripping the edge of the table. "Are you angry at me for?" Next to me, Hinata shifted uncomfortably. Neji held his ground, staring at the Uchiha without saying anything.
He leaned forward. "Typical," he snapped. "Too stupid to even--"
"I'm the one who should be angry here," I hissed, taking a fistful of his collar and pulling him towards me. "You left today morning, without an explanation, without any decency or regard." He grabbed onto my wrist, pulling to free himself. I got another fistful of shirt and pulled him back towards me.
"Any regard? I came and checked to see if you were all right, you pampered brat."
"I'm pampered?" I threw my hands up, letting him go. "If I'm pampered, then you're--"
"You complicate everything, you expect everyone around you to like you. Well, here's something new: I don't like you. In fact, I hate you."
"Well, I hate you too," I hissed, shoving the tiles in his direction.
"Fine," he snapped, voice suddenly low and back under control. He straightened, pulling at the collar of his shirt roughly so it settled more neatly against his shoulders.
"Fine," I countered.
"Fine." He muttered something obscene under his breath.
"What," I said, my voice raising in volume slightly. "is your problem?"
He narrowed his eyes, silent, egging me on with his own anger. I took a tile and whipped it at him, hoping that it'd hit him on the head and snap him out of his haze of stupidity. He caught the tile and slammed it down onto the table, shaking all the other tiles out of their stacks. Hinata gasped and moved back, and Neji, for the first time, swiveled his gaze to look at me.
"You're my problem," he said, voice raised now. "YOU. You, ever since you--ever since I saw you, all I've had are problems."
"Well, excuse me if I've been such a pain," I yelled, raising my voice to match his, "But you're the one who dragged me here. I trusted you with--"
"You were the one who wouldn't just come back to work and insisted--"
"I wanted you to call me and ask. NICELY," I yelled. "You little prick."
"YOU--" He growled, running his hand through his hair, pulling at it almost in his frustration. Small droplets of water came off his hand and landed on the mah-jongg table, darkening the green fabric on it. "I don't have WORDS for you." His voice was like thunder in the small room room, filling what air was around us with noise. "You didn't even let me get a wink of sleep, you queen of shit. From your goddamn ramen to your--"
That was it--"You liked the ramen," I hissed. "And at least I ate your stupid sushi. I tried it, didn't I?"
He narrowed his eyes at me. "I wanted CHINESE," he growled.
"You could have ordered it yourself," I snapped. "All it takes is--"
"Are we seriously arguing about this?"
"You started it!" I slammed my hands down on the table, trying to find words for the absolute idiocy of this argument. And then it dawned on me, the reason for his anger. He was furious because I had--what? Pushed past his comfort level? Was that it? "I was just kidding today morning. You don't have compliment me. Heck, you can insult me for all I--"
"What do you want to hear, huh?" He shoved at the table, disturbing all the tiles and pushing it towards me by a few inches. It made a horrible grating noise, resisting the pressure Sasuke put on it. "That I think you're beautiful?" He sneered, spit out the word like it was something distasteful. "Is that it?"
He was disgusted by me, by the very thought that I might be attracted to other men. I felt something hot stir in me. "I don't want to hear anything. It was a joke, you i--"
"And for the record, I hate your tattoo."
"I wasn't trying to please you with it anyways, you jerk. And you know what? I had a terrible time with you yesterday." He eyes widened at that. So I'd hit a nerve somewhere. It was a lie, but this was an argument, and in that instant, I wanted to hurt him. "I don't even know why I even try to make things work with you. Even if you were the last man on earth, I'd never--"
I fell silent at his expression. He opened his mouth to say something, but snapped his mouth shut. Finally, his eyes darkened by anger to almost pitch black, he hissed: "Disgusting thought, isn't it?"
We stared at each other, breathing a little heavily. He had run out of words now, apparently. I was about to say something else--something to win the argument--when he stood up suddenly, looked down at me, eyes dark with anger still. "I'm done here."
I watched him leave. He's disgusted by you, I told myself, and it hurt more than it had ever hurt before. I should be used to it by now, should understand that not everyone liked who I was, what I was. But this was the first time--I liked him. Thought, maybe he liked me too. But he was engaged to a woman, and how had I ever thought that he would return my twisted feelings for him?
At the office, he had been comfortable, as long as my sexuality hadn't come up. But here, in close quarters, free from the rules and regulations of an office, I understood. Too disgusting, he had said. And for him, it was. I had misinterpreted him at every single step of our time together. I felt something tighten in my chest and crawl slowly up my throat. I crossed the line, stepped over some boundry, ruined what little friendship we had between us--
"I should go check on him," Neji said, slowly getting up. He glanced down at me once before leaving the room, his footsteps fading away quickly.
Which left me and Hinata, awkward still after what had happened. The silence was defeaning after all the noise the Uchiha and I had created.
I'd gotten too close to him, abandoned my self-restraint, and somewhere along the line, fell victim to my own silly lies.
He'd let me sleep next to me because he was too hesitant to say no, too tired to tell me to leave. He took me out and tolerated me for an entire day because I was his guest, and his mother had taught him manners. He'd stood close, let his gaze linger, because he had no personal boundaries or understanding of what was acceptable. And he flirted because that's what he did.
I misinterpreted, misread, misunderstood. And I'd laid all my secrets bare in front of him. Had even told him about my tattoo. I had told him about my fears, my dreams for the future, my past, about Haku, what he meant to me, about my childhood. I had given him access to everything in my life, and why had I done that? Against my better judgement, I told him.
What was I expecting? That he'd realize suddenly, after twenty-something years of living that he was attracted to men, that he wanted me, not Sakura? How idiotic was I to think--
"I'm a very close friend of Sakura," Hinata said suddenly, her voice cold." We grew up together, we've been best friends since we were born." I felt the blood draining out of my head, leaving a dull thunder behind. "I don't know what kind of relationship you have with Sasuke," she said slowly. There was a pause, and she clarified, "I don't know if it's just business or close friendship. I don't know" She stopped for a moment, and let the words sink into the air in the room.
I looked away from her, blushing. What they must all think of me. "I--"
She cut me off with a wave of her hand. "Mr. U--"
"Naruto is fine," I said. When she was silent, I added, "Please."
She took a breath, and plunged on. "Naruto, it's hard enough as it is to say this to you. Please don't say anything--it'll just make it harder for me. Please." I nodded, and snapped my mouth shut. "As I said, I'm Sakura's friend, and Sasuke's cousin. I want them to be happy, but." She stopped mid-sentence, and looked at me apologetically as a prelude to what she said next. "With you, neither of them can be happy. So, please, leave."
She pushed herself away from the table, and bowed to me, letting her forehead rest on the tatami mat. I stared at her, over the table, and over the mah-jongg tiles. I realized in the back of my mind that even her bow was graceful--her fingers were together, and her hair slid off her back and fell to her side in one fluid motion. She kept her position for a moment before getting up, and leaving without saying good-bye.
The sound of mah-jongg tiles clacking together, Haku told me once, were supposed to bring good luck. I pushed a tile with my finger and heard the single click it made against another, deafening, deafeningly loud against the silence.
*
It took me a while to find him, but when I finally did, he already seemed to know what had happened. I explained to him, lying a little, that I had to get back to Tokyo, that my stay was limited to only two days, that the Uchiha already knew. "But I was wondering, Eiji, if I could get my clothes. The ones that I wore when I arrived."
The man nodded, and led me back to the room. He fumbled around in the closet and returned with my clothes, washed and freshly pressed, before leaving me alone in the room. I changed quickly, and walked out. Eiji was waiting, and without a word, he began to lead me through the corridors and outside for my very last time.
Outside, the driver who had come to my house on Saturday morning was waiting patiently. He smiled when I came outside, and opened the door for me. "Thank you," I said, my voice dead-pan. The door shut and the driver took his seat as well before turning on the engine.
"Where to, Master Naruto?"
"Naruto is fine, thank you. And to the airport, Mr. Natsumi."
The driver glanced over his shoulder when I mentioned his name, and smiled. "Natsumi is fine. And you remember my name?"
"I've seen you twice already," I explained before sitting back and settling into the seat. "How long do you think before another flight comes by? I need to get back to Tokyo."
"There's always one waiting. It's Master Sasuke's private jet, so--"
"I'm sure he won't mind," I said quickly. "In fact, I'm here because of his request."
Natsumi nodded understandingly, and then began to drive. I watched the outside landscape change as we drove, the roads familiar from my time with the Uchiha. But then he took a turn, and we got onto roads that I'd never seen before. We drove for three hours or so, before we arrived at a border post. "Uchiha," the driver said, lowering his window a little. The man at the station--blonde, like me--glanced at me, and then nodded before lifting a gate.
"We're in Russia," Natsumi explained. "This is the nearest city, and where Master Sasuke keeps his planes."
I watched as the scenery changed again and this time, I was met with tar, not grass. We drove for another half-hour, before Natsumi announced, in what seemed to be a genuine Russian accent, "Wladiwostok."
I lowered the window, and immediately regretted it when a barrage of noise and smell came pouring in. "A port city," Natsumi said after I had rolled the window up. He drove slowly through local streets, and was met with curious, blue-eyed glances. I stared back at them, and realized with a start that the people in Russia looked more like me than the people in Japan. But still, there was a Chinese slant to their eyes, and I snapped my gaze away.
After another twenty minutes of driving, we arrived at what looked like an airport. There was a stretch of tar, and I saw in the distance a jet with the Uchiha clan symbol waiting for me. When we drove up to the jet, Natsumi opened the door and watched me walk up the steps to the jet plane. I waved to him at the top, and saw him smile before he got in and drove the car away again.
Inside, the jet was as I had last seen it, and I settled down into the same seat where I sat on the journey to Jixi. A flight hostess walked in, talked to me in a polite way, told me that we'd be back in Tokyo in four or five hours, and that if I needed anything, just call for her. Within another ten minutes, the jet was off the ground.
I stayed awake the entire trip back, watching the blinking light on the wing of the plane. It was odd, I thought, looking down at the inky-blue sea below. I couldn't remember why I'd been so afraid to fly in the first place.
*
When I landed in Tokyo, I felt a wave of relief wash through me. Outside, with the familiar sounds of Tokyo lapping against me, I called for a taxi and got in gratefully. I mumbled my address and settled back, grateful to be home.
I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I remembered was the Taxi driver, leaning over his seat to tap me on the shoulder. "You're here," he said, pointing at my apartment building. I stepped out of the car, paid the man, and then the next thing I knew, I was walking up a familiar staircase and jamming keys into a familiar keyhole.
The apartment was perfectly clean, as I had left it when Orochimaru had come, and eerily silent. I took off my shoes, headed straight for the kitchen and absent-mindedly, made myself a cup of ramen, before settling in front of the TV.
What I saw on TV that night, I couldn't remember the next morning. The only thing that I did remember was printing out a resignation letter, walking to the post office in the middle of the night, mailing the letter to Uchiha Corps, walking back home in the cold, crawling into my bed, pulling a blanket over my head, and forcing myself to fall asleep.
I was a jobless, broken man, and I kept lying to myself the entire night, Tomorrow will be better.
End of The Seventh